“First,” said she, “I learned that I must accept with joy all that you allowed to happen to me on the way and everything to which the path led me! That I was never to try to evade it but to accept it and lay down my own will on the altar and say, ‘Behold me, I am thy little handmaiden Acceptance-with-Joy.'”
“Then I learned that I must bear all that others were allowed to do against me and to forgive with no trace of bitterness and to say to thee, ‘Behold me – I am thy little handmaiden Bearing-with-Love,’ that I may receive power to bring good out of this evil.”
“The third thing that I learned was that you, my Lord, never regarded me as I actually was, lame and weak and crooked and cowardly. You saw me as I would be when you had done what you promised and had brought me to the High Places, when it could be truly said, ‘There is none that walks with such a queenly ease, nor with such grace, as she.’ You always treated me with the same love and graciousness as though I were a queen already and not wretched little Much-Afraid.” Then she looked up into his face for a little time and could say no more, but at last she added, “My Lord, I cannot tell you how greatly I want to regard others in the same way.”
“The fourth thing,” said she with a radiant face, “was really the first I learned up here. Every circumstance in life, no matter how crooked and distorted and ugly it appears to be, if it is reacted to in love and forgiveness and obedience to your will can be transformed.”
“Therefore I begin to think, my Lord, you purposefully allow us to be brought into contact with the bad and evil things you want changed. Perhaps that is the very reason why we are here in this world, where sin and sorrow and suffering and evil abound, so that we may let you teach us so to react to them, that out of them we can create lovely qualities to live forever…”
It’s no secret the past couple of years have been one heck of a rollercoaster for me. I appreciate that you read along with me during my last few months in Nashville and my time in Uganda. I miss the children more everyday. As for this blog, I think I’m wrapping it up. I’m thankful I had this place to vent and that somehow I was able to be so candid in some of my posts. However, there was always a vague ulterior motive in my writing in a public forum. Jesus has silently and distantly been doing some work in my heart and helping me overcome things.
This chapter is closing. Love you loads.