things will never be the same.

There are certain times when you expect to feel like a failure at the hands of someone else.

You can almost sense when things are going awry with your boyfriend or girlfriend.  You create an expectation that things are going to end, and begin examining yourself and wondering why you weren’t enough, why you were a failure.

You know when a friend is hiding something from you, something that betrays your trust.  They stab you in the back, and somehow you still end up wondering how you had failed them as a friend, when did you become so untrustworthy that your friends couldn’t be open with you.

Then there are the people who you never expect to be make you feel like you’ve failed.  Your family.  And those are the people who I’ve found hardest to forgive, and easiest to vengefully attempt to make them feel like a failure as well.  I’ll take the low blows over the high road, and dwell on the past.

I hate discord in relationships.

I’m sorry for using hate-filled words to try and break your heart.  More so, I’m sorry that I let you (and anyone else, ever) make me feel like I have failed, because I placed you on a pedestal you never asked for.  It’s silly for me to think things would always remain the same.  People change, relationships evolve.

The end.

I’m going to Uganda in less than a week. I’m going to change. The relationships I have with people will evolve. Get used to it Colleen.


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