elevators don’t have music.

i take elevator rides approximately six times a day, except on mondays. i get the mail twice on mondays, therefore upping the count to eight. and i’ve noticed two things:
a) the phrase “elevator music” is kind of obsolete. these elevators don’t play any music. they should, there’s music playing in the lobby. cmt is on constant rotation.

and b) elevator conversations go one of three ways. first, there’s the usual. small chat. a little conversation at the initial start of the ride. “hi, how are you?” and a nice exiting phrase, “have a nice day.” and the actual ride is filled with an awkward silence. second, and most safe, no conversation at all. as a matter of fact, i witnessed a person waiting to get on a different elevator just to avoid the potential for real-life interaction. and finally, my personal favorite, the way the cute old man (COM) was surprised when he stopped at the 6th floor to pick me up and not at the 1st.

elevator door opens and I enter. the COM is wearing an ascot. i love it.

COM: well i’m going to the 1st floor.
me: me too!
COM: do you vote?
me: (i hate politics, and have recently decided i don’t care about voting) erhmm, yes, but i’m an ohio resident so i can’t vote here.
COM: oh, i had a joke.
me: well, i might still get the joke.

then the COM proceeds to tell me some joke about diapers and George Bush, and how they need to be changed for the same reason. the elevator door opens and i leave, but not before i turn to the COM and give him a little giggle.

the joke was kind of lame, and again, i hate politics. but he was wearing an ascot!


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